Menopause. Even the word sounds like a clinic nobody wants to visit.

It sits somewhere between “tax audit” and “root canal” in terms of excitement. Yet suddenly, every bookstore shelf is bursting with menopause titles. There are the funny ones It’s the Menopause’ by Kay Cooke and Menopausal AF by Jules Van De Gevel, the famous ones like Dare I say it ‘ by Naomi Watts, and the scientific ones like The Menopause Reset, and the earthy holistic guides with pictures of women hugging trees in linen pants. And in my quest for understanding I have read most of them and I have written about it here before.

Apparently, half the population has finally decided we should discuss the thing we’ve all been silently white-knuckling through for centuries.

And honestly? About bloody time. Even if we read up quietly on our kindle or audio book on a walk giving strangers the side-eye.

Looking back, I think I’ve been going through menopause for years without realising it. I know my breaking point and I have a high stress level but I admit I have struggled. Not “a few hot flushes and move on” menopause. I’m talking about the full psychological escape room experience. The irrational blowups with my daughter? Possibly menopause possibly part GenZ. The emotional fragility during my divorce many years ago? Maybe. Booking the wrong dates on a flight and turning up to the airport. Could be. Crying at weddings, funerals, coffee catchups, and one particularly moving Woolworths ad? Definately! Menopause with a side of hormonal chaos.

To be clear – this article is not for the 20% of bitches who don’t have symptoms. It’s not for the ‘lucky ones’ who have dodged years of bipolar episodes or sailed through without periods that require a blood transfusion. This is for the 80% of women who have been sleep deprived suffer hot flushes, brain fog and are wound up like a rubberband for years.

Meanwhile, still running a home and business like an absolute boss.

For perspective I’m the woman who took two weeks off after giving birth and returned to the office with a newborn and breast fed for six months. I’m the woman who walked onto Shark Tank and won. I’ve survived 25 years in private sector that I built all by myself — which statistically makes me part entrepreneur, part gladiator, part emotionally exhausted fruit bat. I was about to get my motor bike licence at 53, I did a share buy back from my business partners and won a major year long legal challenge operating through brain fog and double cateract surgery. I discovered the satisfaction of cleaning and ironing at midnight while sleep deprived, hormonally unstable, and one hot flush away from setting fire to my own office chair.

And somehow, nobody thought to say: “Hey, maybe your hormones are staging a hostile corporate takeover.”

Instead, women of my generation were taught to push through. Be stoic. Soldier on. Smile politely while internally wanting to throw a laptop through a window because someone used Reply All.

The workplace is full of menopausal women pretending everything is fine while secretly overheating in polyester blazers and forgetting the names of people they’ve worked with for ten years. Entire board meetings are being run by women silently praying nobody notices they’ve lost their train of thought halfway through a sentence and functioning on a limited sleep.

What’s wild is that menopause symptoms can mimic everything from burnout to depression to bipolar disorder. Mood swings, anxiety, insomnia, brain fog, exhaustion, loss of confidence — yet so many women and those who judge them, simply assume they’re failing at life. Imagine being sleep deprived for years and still expected to function at peak performance. We’d never expect it from anyone else.

But super women? We’re expected to keep the wheels turning no matter what. Our mothers did it – and they never talk about it.

So let’s talk about our mothers. They still don’t want to talk about it. Life was simpler back then. No social media, no mobile phones, no WIFI, no Dr Google. Life in the 60, 70, 80’s was more social than anti-social, you could leave the keys in the car and the kids played cricket in the street. Our mothers didn’t have the world at their feet, like they gave us. They didn’t have access to the full career range, and equality that we have today. We also have greater access to education and knowledge and our mothers fort hard for us to achieve. As women today we can be the daughter, sister, mother, wife, corporate animal and bread winner all rolled into one. Awesome.

But can we discuss sleep deprivation for a second? Whoever said “ you look a bit tired – just get more sleep” has clearly never been a menopausal woman staring at the ceiling at 3:17am wondering whether she overreacted to a text message from 2018. The exhaustion is relentless. You’re tired but wired and over think EVERYTHING. Your brain is like a superhighway constantly in peak hour traffic. Hot then freezing. Emotional then furious. It’s like puberty came back with a mortgage and legal authority to mess you up.

Eventually, I did something revolutionary: I went to the doctor.

Not a crystal healer named Sunbeam. An actual real doctor – Sarah Mills from Women’s Health Clinic in Palmerston to be specific. I read her article in the NT News and did something astounding – I made an appointment.

And now, thanks to MHT. Menopause Replacement Therapy formally known as Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) I feel like someone returned my operating system to factory settings. Calm sailing. Better sleep. Better mood. Better focus. Less desire to cry because someone used the wrong font in a PowerPoint presentation however using Comic Sans is still a sackable offence in my office.

And if you judge me – judge away because I don’t care. And here’s the thing people need to understand: MHT is not the hormone treatment horror story from the 1990s. Medicine has evolved dramatically over the past 40 years. We upgrade phones every two years but still talk about menopause treatment like we’re using dial-up internet on an iphone 3. We take multi vitamins, calcium, magnesium powder, fish oil tablets because our joints are starting to ache but why not look at what is causing it and do something that works.

Women deserve proper medical advice based on current science, not outdated fear campaigns or whispered conversations in car parks and stinging nettle tea.

Because why should 50% of the population suffer in silence?

Why are women expected to “just cope” with symptoms that affect relationships, careers, confidence, sleep, mental health, and physical wellbeing? Untreated menopause can increase the risk of osteoporosis, impact heart health, and absolutely wreak havoc on quality of life – every single day. You can mask it by drinking too much alcohol, eating chocolate at 3am and flying off the handle.

I like to think I’m tough, I don’t put up with bullshit or excuses however stoicism around menopause is overrated.

In fact, when it comes to menopause, stoic is stupid.

If your body is screaming for help, listen to it. Talk to a doctor. Talk to your friends. Talk to your sisters if they are still talking to you. Talk to the woman crying in Officeworks because the self-serve photo printer has jammed for the third time.

Most importantly, stop treating menopause like a shameful secret. Women have spent generations whispering about it while continuing to carry families, relationships, and entire universe on their backs.

I’m not being dramatic, I’m being menopausal.

So here’s my advice to every woman white-knuckling her way through menopause while pretending she’s “fine”. Stop suffering in silence and go get some medical advice. You are not weak, dramatic, mentally unwell, unstable, unhinged, depressed or losing your mind, you might just be hormonally hijacked.

We service our cars more regularly than we service ourselves, yet somehow women are expected to endure years of exhaustion, anxiety, brain fog and sleepless nights like it’s some noble badge of honour. It isn’t. It’s unnecessary. And your relationship, marriage, partner might also depend on it too.

Menopause doesn’t mean your best years are behind you. If anything, it’s the phase where women finally stop apologising.

We’re entering the second reckonning of our lives. Mark II. We’ve raised families, built businesses, survived marriages, divorces, careers, childbirth, teenagers and group chats. We are not delicate little flowers anymore. Not much surprises us and we have a background our daughters would be shocked to discover. But we also don’t win medals for struggling unnecessarily.

Get informed. Speak up. Get treatment if you need it. Because the modern menopausal woman isn’t fading quietly into the background, she’s sleeping eight hours, running board meetings, protecting her bone density, and no longer abusing the photo printer.

Although to be fair… that printer deserved it. TQ